The Talk
by ShippingIsMyReligion
Summary: Ross and Laura get "The Talk" from Laura's parents after they are caught having sex on set...and its quite awkward.


Back at it. Woo!

Took me a month but I finally was able to find time to do this. Thank the weather and school cancellations.

This one is once again Rated M so watch out. This one actually isn't too graphic. its more funny with a little fluff and sentiment here and there.

This will be the only part. So enjoy!

WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...or don't...I really don't care.

* * *

"Cut!" Heath said and took off his head set.

"We're done for the day. Live taping is tomorrow guys so be here on time!" Kevin added in.

The cast all let out a breath of relief. They had been working so hard today and they were all exhausted. They couldn't wait to relax.

Raini started rambling about what she was going to do when she got home. Ross was pretty sure all she was saying was that she was going to sleep, but to Raini, a thousand words were better than a few.

They all started walking back towards their dressing rooms so they could change and go home.

"ROSS!" Laura jumped and turned around, causing Raini to stop rambling and pay attention as well as Calum. "Stop!" She blushed.

Ross put his hands up in defense. "What? I didn't do anything!" He smirked.

"Yes you did! Don't grab my butt!" She glared at him.

Ross laughed. "Laura just say ass. It's not that hard. Say it with me. A-S-S."

She shook her head. "I don't like to use that vulgar language!"

"That's not what I heard last night..." He earned ooo's from Calum and Raini.

Laura punched him in the arm, blushing. "And you're not going to hear anything anymore if you don't shut up!"

He quickly stopped laughing and looked at Laura with an 'are you kidding me?' look.

She smirked and shook her head.

"You two are so cute yet you disturb me at the same time. I sometimes regret forcing you guys to admit your feelings for each other.." Raini said.

Ross slung his arm over Laura as they continued to walk. "Well I'm glad you did. Now if you'll excuse us...we have some unfinished business to tend to." He guided Laura away from them and into the direction of the practice room set.

"Use protection!" Calum yelled to them then chuckled when Ross gave him the finger. "I swear they have sex so many times a day."  
Raini nodded in agreement.

* * *

"So...you weren't really serious when you said I won't be hearing anything anymore right!" Ross said as he sat Laura down at the piano and stood behind her, massaging her shoulders.

Laura groaned a little and tilted her head so he could access her neck easier. "Don't think you can give me a massage and I'll forgive you that quick Lynch."

"How about if I do this?" He moved her hair to the side and started kissing her bare shoulders, as she was wearing a dress.

"Mmm...nope."

Ross continued to kiss up her shoulders and to her neck, slowly pulling down her straps and her bra straps.

"Ross...we can't. Remember last time we had sex here and almost got caught?"

He rolled his eyes. "Stupid Calum...I never got to finish" he mumbled.

She shook her head giggling and looked up at him. "Do you want that to happen again?"

He thought about it for a moment. "It's a risk I'm willing to take." He lifted her off the piano bench and sat her on top of the piano, quickly kissing her so she couldn't protest. He reached his hands

down and took off her heels, then ran his hands up her legs.

She moaned into the kiss and opened her legs so he could stand between them. He wasted no time taking off her underwear and placing them in his pocket. She pulled away and eyed him suspiciously.

"For safe keeping!" He smiled, cheekily.

She shook her head. "Ross...what if someone walks in?"

"C'mon Laura just a quicke...we haven't had sex since..." he looks down at his watch. "Since 7 this morning. I'm dying...literally."

She rolled her eyes. "I swear your addicted to sex."

"It's okay because I have you to satisfy my needs." He winked at her.

She giggled. "Okay fine...a quickie. But leave my dress on in case someone walks in."

Ross smiled ear-to-ear and eagerly nodded his head. "Deal!"

He went back to kissing her neck and worked his way down to her boobs kissing the skin that was revealed by her dress. She reached her hand down and rubbed him over his pants. He ground his hips into her touch and grunted. She ran her hand up under his shirt, brushing her fingers across his nipples. He bit her shoulder lightly. She trailed her hands down his belt and started to undo it. After a little fumbling she finally managed to get it undone and undid the button on his jeans. He raised her dress a little higher and grabbed her legs, pulling her more into him. She wrapped her legs around his waist. She pulled his head up and kissed him again. One of her hands trailed back down to his pants and she slipped her hand into his boxers.

"Shit Laura." He mumbled into her mouth. "I need to be inside you now."

"Then do it." She bit his lower lip lightly. She pulled out his dick and guided it towards her core.

_Uh...Laura and Ross to the editing room...like now._

They froze and stared at each other wide-eyed as they heard their names called over the intercom. They quickly made themselves look presentable.

"Ross my underwear!" She held her hand out. He shook his head and folded his arms.

"Nope. I once again didn't get to finish. You don't get those back until I get what I want."

She rolled her eyes. "But-"

_NOW guys._

"Geez what could they want from us this bad?" Ross asked after Kevin's voice stopped booming over the intercom.

"I don't know but I think we're about to find out." She grabbed his hand and led him to the practice room door. Right as she was about to open it Ross stopped her and pinned her against it.

"What the-" He kissed her before she could yell at him.

"This isn't finished Ms. Marano. Remember that." He winked at her and pecked her lips again.

_ROSS AND LAURA...NOW!_

"Whatever you say Mr. Lynch." She giggled and pushed him off of her. "Let's go before we get our heads chewed off." She turned and opened the door and dragged Ross with her.

Laura was laughing hard at some random joke Ross had just made as they walked toward the editing room.

"What's so important Kevin? We were kind of bus-." Ross says as they opened the door of the editing room. He stopped mid sentence because he was face-to-face with a fuming, red Damiano and a highly-concerned Ellen.

"W-what's going on mom and dad?" Laura asked worried and confused.

"Laura sweetie we came to the set to ask you and Ross to go to dinner with us. We went to your dressing rooms and you weren't there so we asked Kevin and Heath."

Ross was getting uncomfortable very quickly with Damiano staring daggers into his eyes.

"They brought us here to see if we could find you on the cameras." Damiano said sternly.

Ross and Laura glanced at each other and held each other's hand tighter.

"Um...I guess you guys forgot. We keep the cameras rolling on the sets..."

Laura's jaw dropped and she looked up at the screens to see an image of the practice room on the screen. Ross's face reddened as he put the pieces of the puzzle together. The urgency. The furious Damiano. The concerned Ellen. They all had just watched them about to have sex on the set of their Disney Channel show.

Ross opened his mouth to explain but as soon as he started he froze. He didn't know what to say. How do you explain to a man that you were about to have a quickie with his daughter on top of a piano?

Laura decided it was time to say something. "Mom, Da-"

Damiano put his hand up to silence her. "Stop. Both of you meet us at our house. We will discuss this then." Without another word he walked out of the room with Ellen following closely behind.  
Ross let out a breath of relief because the tension is the air had risen. He was still completely scared and worried but he felt a little at ease.

"We're so screwed Ross." Laura shifted uncomfortably.

"Well...on the bright side, the camera angle was on my back so they didn't see anything..." He let out a shaky laugh.

Heath cleared his throat and spoke up. "Oh don't worry, they saw enough. Just be glad we didn't turn the sound up. Also, don't worry, we know you both are already in for it today so we're waiting until tomorrow to discuss your actions on set." Kevin nodded, agreeing.

Ross and Laura groaned. This was not going to go well for them.

* * *

The car ride home consisted of Laura freaking out about what her parents could say and Ross complaining that Damiano was going to kill him for deflowering his little princess. They definitely didn't expect today to turn into this.

They both dreaded seeing her parents yet there they were, seated across from them on Laura's living room couch. Ross placed his hand on Laura's knee but quickly removed it when he saw Damiano's eyes shoot down to where his hand was. They were all sitting there in silence and it was becoming awkward.

Ellen cleared her throat and spoke up first. "Laura...Ross, I think it's very clear what happened today and what we saw," she started. "First of all we want you guys to know that we're not mad at you for any reason whatsoever." Damiano grunted and crossed his arms, glaring at Ross. "Stop it honey, we discussed this!"

Damiano sighed and finally looked away from Ross. Ross let out a breath be didn't know he was holding in.

"Like I said before, we're not mad at you guys. A little disappointed? Yes, but not mad. We understand. You are both young teenagers and you have raging hormones. Heck, I remember my teenage

years...right honey?" She winked at Damiano and he smirked.

"MOM!" Laura exclaimed and blushed along with Ross.

"Well honey everyone does it! That's why we decided on giving you guys the talk." She smiled softly at them.

"Woah there Mrs. M, my parents already gave me that talk a couple years back. I think I'm all good in that area. Thanks though." He said quickly.

"Yeah mom...you already gave me this talk too, remember?" Laura added on.

"Yes I remember. And this talk is different. You two are actually in a relationship now and we feel that it's necessary to talk to you together about this in an open discussion then I will talk alone with

you Laura and Damiano with Ross."

They both groaned. The last thing they wanted was to be given the sex talk at 19.

"Great so let's start! So from watching you two today we learned that you are sexually active right?" Ellen asked.

Laura and Ross looked at each other quickly then looked back at a patiently waiting Ellen. They nodded their heads slowly.

"Okay this is a great start! So are you both aware of the consequences your actions could cause?" They both nodded.

"And you're using contraceptives I hope?" Damiano added in.

Laura blushed and mumbled, "Yes dad, I'm on birth control."

He nodded and looked to Ross for an answer as well.

Ross cleared his throat. "Uh..yes sir. I have plenty of condoms."

Damiano's eyes widened. "Oh..uh...er...I mean...I have...uh..." Ross scratched the back of his neck and turned red. Laura ran her hand down her face and mumbled so only Ross could hear. "Smooth smartass."

"No need to be embarrassed sweetie. It's better you have them then you don't. I know this is very awkward for you Ross, but please tell me, did your mother teach you how to correctly put a condom on?" Ellen asked.

Ross choked a little and Laura pat his back to help him. "Um yeah...yeah she did."

Ellen nodded. "Good. And you make sure you put it on correctly every time right?" Damiano eyed him.

He swallowed hard and nodded his head fast. "Yes ma'am. Laura always makes sure or just does it for-" he stopped when he saw Damiano's glare harden and felt Laura's elbow push into his ribcage. "I mean..."

"Well moving on!" Laura exclaimed, clearly embarrassed her parents knew of her actions because her boyfriend didn't know when to stop talking.

"And Ross, you know that you never reuse a condom...as soon as you 'finish'," Ellen made air quotes causing Ross to turn even more red, "you need to take it off and then get a new one if you two

choose to continue." He nodded quickly.

"Are you both aware of STD's and what they can do?" Damiano asked.

They both mumbled a yes.

"And are you guys aware that they can be transmitted not only during sex but also during oral sex?" Ellen asked.

Ross and Laura nodded again.

"Great, now I think that's enough for the group discussion. Laura you stay here with me sweetie and Ross, why don't you and Damiano head out back?" Ross nodded and stood up along with Damiano who placed a hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly. Ross flinched as Damiano led him outside.

Ellen moved so she was sitting in Ross's place on the couch, next to Laura. She hugged her tightly. "Aw my baby's growing up! I can't believe it!" She reared up.

"Mom...don't cry that's weird." Laura laughed a little.

"Sorry honey..it's just, I thought it'd be your sister I had this talk with first. But I should have known by the way you and Ross look at each other. I'm surprised I didn't find out sooner."

"Oh trust me, there was plenty of times when you could have.." Laura mumbled lowly so Ellen wouldn't hear but she did.

"Laura Marie! Have you had sex under this roof?"

Laura blushed and looked down nodding slowly.

Ellen shook her head. "How often do you and Ross have sex? How long have you been having sex? How-"

Laura cut her off. "One question at a time mom."

"Fine fine. How often?"

Laura blushed. She couldn't believe she was actually telling her mom all of this. She wasn't too worried though because her mom was always supportive of her. It was her dad who she was really worried about. What was he doing to Ross? What was he saying? Has he killed him yet? She hoped he'd still be alive after this.

"Um let's just say often enough." She played with a stray string on her jeans she had changed into before they left the set. She thought back to earlier that day when Ross mentioned that they hadn't had sex since 7 am and he wanted more. There was no way she was going to tell her mom it was that often. There's just certain things a mom doesn't need to know.

Ellen nodded. "And when did you guys start?"

"Our one year anniversary. When he took me on that trip to Hawaii."

Ellen smiled. "Aw sweetie that's so romantic. I wondered why you came back from that trip so giddy. It was like you were a completely different person! Now I see you were! You went from a girl to a woman!"

Laura giggled. "Stop mom you're embarrassing me!"

"Oh come on honey we"re past that now. You know, it's a good thing I taught you how to put a condom on a boy using a banana because it comes in handy now!" Ellen exclaimed.  
Laura's jaw dropped and she covered her face. "Mom! You weren't supposed to hear that! Stupid Ross."

"Sweetie it's nothing to be ashamed of! It's a good thing that you help him out. It gives me more of a peace of mind. Plus, tons of women do it for their men. Men tend to like it that way too." She winked at Laura.

"Oh my god..." Laura shut her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch.

Ellen eagerly turned to face Laura more. "So, I've been dying to know, is he good in bed?"

"MOM!" Laura yelled.

"Oh come on honey just answer!"

Laura groaned and mumbled. "Yes. He's good."

"Like average good or good good?"

Laura rolled her eyes. "GOOD GOOD! MIND BLOWING! AMAZING! Okay?!"

Ellen smiled. "That's the kind of response I wanted to hear. I had to make sure my baby was actually enjoying herself."

"Trust me, I am." Laura responded, thinking back to earlier before they got interrupted.

* * *

A total of 8 minutes had gone by and all Damiano had done was sit across from Ross and stare at him intently. Ross tried to look anywhere but at him but he was quickly running out of stuff to look at.

Ross finally gathered some courage and spoke first. "Look sir, I know what happened today must be a lot for you to take in and all...but I want you to know that I love your daughter with all my heart and I have nothing but the best intentions with her. I promise to never hurt her and I will always do my best to take care of her. And if it helps at all, we waited a whole year before we decided to have sex."

He waited for a response and watched as Damiano kept the same hard face. He started to grow even more nervous when Damiano broke out into a smile.

"What...?" Ross was very confused.

Damiano chuckled. "Ross son, I can't stay furious with you forever. I've known you too long and you're like my own kid. Sure I was angry when I saw it happening on the screen, but I realized that you are both responsible adults and there's nothing I can do to stop you."

Ross broke out into a smile and let out another breath he didn't know he was holding in. "Thank you. I really appreciate that. So when we were in the living room earlier and you were giving me death glares..that was all just to scare me?"

"No that was all real." Ross's smile dropped. "But how did you expect me to react? Hearing you talk about my daughter putting condoms on you definitely isn't the highlight of my day. I mean she

still is my little princess after all."

Ross nodded in understanding and blushed a little. "Er yeah...uh sorry about that. I was nervous and I let things slip out that shouldn't have."

"Don't worry about it son. Consider it forgotten. Now let's have some man to man talk and I'll pretend like the girl we're talking about isn't my daughter."

Ross chuckled and nodded. "Okay what do you want to talk about?" Ross felt more open and free to talk to Damiano now. He wasn't as worried.

"Well first of all, I want to tell you that if you even need anything..condoms, advice, or anything else..don't hesitate to come to me. I'll always help you out. Sex is a big part of a relationship and it

has as almost as many downfalls as it has perks."

Ross nodded. "Got it. Thanks."

"Was your first time with her?"

Ross nodded. "Yes. It was and it was the best decision I ever made waiting for her."

"Good. Remember, this is not my daughter we're talking about. So tell me son, is the sex good?" He winked at Ross.

Ross laughed and blushed. "It's good. VERY good."

"I remember back when me and Ellen were dating. We used to go at it all the time! She used to love this one move I used to do only on special occasions." Damiano sighed, thinking about the past.

Ross laughed. "Yeah Laura loves it when I do this special thing. I go down on he- I mean..." Ross's eyes widened and he covered his mouth.

Damiano cringed slightly and took a deep breath. "Not my daughter Ross."

"Heh...sorry. Got a little carried away." Ross awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair. He had just admitted to his girlfriend's father that he went down on her and she loved it. He was on a roll today and man, was Laura going to kill him.

"It's fine.." He took a deep breath then smiled at Ross again. "So you and your girlfriend are into foreplay?"

Ross nodded. "Yep. And she's very good at it." He said dreamily.

Damiano chuckled. "So-"

He was interrupted by Ross's phone ringing in his pocket. "Sorry hold on."

Ross reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He didn't notice that he had also pulled out Laura's underwear as well during the process. They fell to the ground next to him.

"Hello?" Ross nodded. "I'm a little busy right now." "Okay." He sighed. "What if we moved it to tomorrow?" He smiled. "Perfect! Thanks dude, bye!" Ross hung up the phone.

"Sorry, band issues." Ross looked at Damiano to see him red but trying to remain calm. He noticed he wasn't looking at him but at the ground next to him. He followed Damiano's gaze and saw Laura's lacy red underwear from earlier sitting on the ground. His jaw dropped and he quickly bent down and picked them up and put them back in his pocket. "Um...wow this day couldn't go any worse..."

All he could think about now was the fact that Laura was sitting in the house with her mom and she has no underwear on under her jeans. He was getting turned on just thinking about it.

Damiano took deep breaths to calm down. "Not my daughter. Not my daughter. Not my daughter." He repeated to himself and finally calmed down.

"So the old panties in the pocket trick. I used to pull that one on Ellen all the time. Great one." He high fived Ross.

Ross laughed too.

"Well we better get inside. We don't want them to think I killed you and I'm trying to hide the evidence." Damiano winked.

Ross smiled and nodded, following him inside after giving him a good handshake.

Laura looked up as Ross walked in the room and she immediately scanned his body for cuts and bruises. She didn't see any and raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"Before you ask Laura, no I didn't kill him. We just had a nice man to man talk and cleared some things up."

Laura sighed a breathe of relief and got up and hugged her dad tightly. "Thank you so much." She whispered in his ear.

He chuckled. "No problem sweetie."

"Honey...remember that movie we were supposed to catch in 20 minutes?" Ellen asked Damiano.

"No?" He responded, confused.

"Yes honey. The one with the people and the aliens! You promised me you'd take me!" She winked at him.

"Uh...sure?" She grabbed his hand and started pulling him out of the house and winked back at Ross and Laura. She mouthed 'use protection!' before shutting the door.

Ross chuckled and Laura flopped back on the couch, sighing loudly.

"Most. Awkward. Conversation. Ever." Laura exclaimed.

Ross nodded in agreement. "Very awkward indeed." He walked over to the couch and climbed on top of her.

"Really Ross? After all that that just happened and you're still trying to have sex with me?"

"Mhm.." He mumbled as he kissed her neck.

She giggled and played in his hair. "What did you and my dad talk about?"

He stopped and looked up at her. "I told him how much I love you and how important you are to me. And he told me he understands and that he doesn't hate me."

Laura smiled and grabbed his face, bringing it down to hers. "Awwww how sweet!" She kissed him.

He pulled away a minute later. "I also told him you like it when I go down on you and He accidentally saw your underwear in my pocket!" He rambled out really quick and went back to kissing her.

She pulled away really quickly. "You WHAT!?" She looked at him shocked.

"It was an accident! He told me to talk to him man to man as if it wasn't his daughter and then he brought up your mom and some stuff they did so I just got carried away!"

Laura shook her head. "Wait he talked about him and my mom?" She shivered. "And what about my underwear?" She glared at him.

Ross laughed and nodded. "Well you see I got this phone call and they kinda got hooked on my phone and came out as well..."

Her jaw dropped. "Ross!"

"Hey! It's not my fault you wore sexy lacy underwear that easily get caught!"

She shook her head. "I'm going to need those back by the way." She held her hand up in his face.

He smirked down at her. "And I'm going to need a good round of foreplay and condom protected sex before you get them back." He winked at her.

She laughed out loud. "Did you really have to mention that I put condoms on you earlier?"

He smirked. "Sorry, it kinda just came out. But you know I love it when you do." He ground his hips into hers.

"Mmm..my mom mentioned that men love that today." She giggled. "Guess she's right." She leaned up and flipped them over so she was on top and kissed him hard, grinding her hips into his. She figured they had done enough talking for the night. Now it was time to let the actions speak.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AUSTIN AND ALLY, R5, LAURA, ROSS, OR ANYTHING ELSE. IF I DID, ROSS AND LAURA WOULD TOTALLY HOOKED UP BY NOW.

Do me a solid and review this please!


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